Todd Grooms

My father, John Wyman Adams, passed away a year ago today. I knew the anniversary was approaching, but it sometimes still doesn’t feel real. In the lead up to his death, I always assumed we would have more time. More time to talk. More time to bond. More time to share. More time to laugh. Man, I miss his laugh.

A few weeks ago, it dawned on me that the anniversary would coincide with a trip out to the office. Once I realized this, I knew that I wanted to visit Aptos on this day and I wanted to sit on the beach for a bit. I wanted to feel the breeze. I wanted to feel the sun. I wanted to breathe. I wanted to reflect. I wanted to grieve.

The other morning, while somewhere in between awake and dreaming, I thought how it had been awhile since I had called my dad. I wanted to call him. I wanted to give him an update on what had been going on. I wanted to talk about Max starting sixth grade and how he is in middle school now. I wanted to talk about Adelaide’s first day of kindergarten and about how brave she was. I still want to share this with him.

I’m not sure how to describe it, but I sometimes feel him with me. I see him in the mirror. I hear his laugh when I laugh. It’s funny how similar some of our mannerisms are, even though we never lived together. There are many traits that I share with him and many that I don’t. I would have loved the opportunity to learn more ways in which we are similar.

Thanks to the fog for cooperating today. I had my time in the sun at Seacliff. I thought about walking along the beach with my dad when he visited us years ago. I thought about him walking alongside Max and my sister. I thought about him sharing an ice cream cone with Max at Marianne’s while I enjoyed an ice cream cone this evening. I thought about him.

Finished reading: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury 📚

Play the man, Master Ridley; we shall this day light such a candle, by God’s grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out.

I enjoyed it, but I also don’t get what all the fuss is about. Why is this book controversial? Would The Republic also be controversial today?

📺 Stick

I found Stick to be a lot of fun. Sad to see the season finale. If the writers have more story to tell, I really hope they can get picked up for a second season. I would definitely tune in for another season.

Absolutely incredible finish to the Brickyard 400 today. Bubba Wallace with a sensational finish. He somehow beats Larson on both Overtime restarts and somehow manages to avoid running out of gas.

Finished reading: The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton 📚

Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.

Ashley recommended this to me for our vacation. I was able to finish it as we landed back in Nashville. I enjoyed it so much.

Finished reading: Lead Yourself First by Raymond M. Kethledge 📚

Community is a group of individuals who have made an inclusive commitment to support each other. Inclusive because they welcome others to join them. Differences are a product of ideas. Division is a product of behavior. A community means we live together with differences, but we can’t be divided.

–Chip Edens

Finished reading: Things Become Other Things by Craig Mod 📚

When I was a kid, the whole world felt preordained, immutable. Everything about the old town simply was, always had been, and always would be.

🔗 The rise of Whatever

But I like programming. I like writing. I like making things and then being able to sit back and look at them and think, holy fuck, I made that. There is no joy for me in typing a vague description into a computer and refreshing my way through a parade of Whatever until something is good enough.

This one struck a chord with me. There is so much here that I have found myself thinking and not knowing how to put into words.

via Molly White

Finished reading: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport 📚

I enjoyed the concepts laid out in this book. I do not want to be a Luddite, but I also do not want to be beholden to every status update or breaking news alert either.

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

–Henry David Thoreau, Walden

In the utter darkness Of a moonless night, A powerful wind embraces The ancient cedar trees.

–Matsuo Bashō

I saw a recommendation for Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I decided to reserve a copy at my library. I think the people currently waiting on a digital copy while physical copies are ready for pickup might be missing the point.

Finished reading: A Series of Unfortunate Events #6: The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket 📚

Finished reading: A Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket 📚

How does Count Olaf keep getting away with it? And what does V.F.D. mean?!

Finished reading: Make Time by Jake Knapp 📚

I don’t think there was anything revolutionary here. I feel like I inherently knew most of this, but it hits differently when it’s reinforced in an entertaining and informative manner.

Finished reading: The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery 📚

I was taken aback at how spiritual and deeply philosophical this book is. What is consciousness? Do animals experience consciousness?

Finished reading: A Series of Unfortunate Events #4: The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket 📚

In March, I made the difficult decision to hang up my pads after the end of this season. I have been playing adult league hockey since 2011 or 2012. I forget the exact year I started, but I do remember us living in Nashville at the time, so it could not have been earlier than 2011. I had played roller hockey in high school and one year of ice hockey for the University of Louisville club team. There was a long lull between that season and when I started playing in an adult league here in Nashville. During that lull, I was very much out of shape and couldn’t imagine playing again. However, with lots of exercise and being smarter about what food I consumed, I slowly conditioned myself into playing shape.

When I started playing in the adult league, I signed up for the Lower C division, which is the most inexperienced division. My plan was to play a season or two, then move my way up to a higher skilled division. The problem became finding a permanent team in those divisions. I subbed some, even found a few teams that I would regularly sub for, but I never found one that was looking for a full-time goalie. I subbed all the way up to Lower A. Lower A was way too advanced for me and my skill level. I think I probably could have done a reasonable job in Lower B as I subbed there often in 2012-2014 and found success.

Eventually, life ebbs and it flows and I found myself, thirteen or fourteen years later, still playing in Lower C. During that time, while living in Nashville, I played for the Phantoms full-time. We were never the top team, but we had good camaraderie amongst the team and we had a lot of fun. In this league, everyone makes the playoffs; the game outcomes only determine the seeding during the playoffs. In the 2012-2013 season, we were at the bottom of the league which meant we would be playing one of the better teams in the first round. I remember being very anxious for that game. I remember wanting to win. I remember feeling a lot of pressure to perform well. The team we were playing chirped a lot and I was always annoyed to play them. It didn’t help that they were actually a really talented team, maybe even a little too talented for Lower C. Fortunately, I ended up playing a phenomenal game and had a shutout. One of their better players whined to the league coordinator and tried to suggest that I shouldn’t be allowed to play in the league. I have to admit, that felt pretty good. I followed up that game with another shutout in the second round. After two shutouts, I felt so much pressure to keep it going in the championship round. The championship round is a best of three series. Unfortunately, my tank was a little low and I was not able to repeat my previous performance. We lost in two games. I took that hard. I was excited that we had mad the championship, but I was disappointed that we didn’t win.

In the intervening years, I did not make another championship. I cannot recall if the Phantoms made a championship during my California years, but I would assume they did not. After I returned, we won a few playoff games, but just couldn’t make it all the way. When I announced my retirement to the team, this was a bit of a burr in my saddle. I didn’t bring it up, but I was a bit sad to think I wouldn’t have the chance to win a championship again. I thought of all the world class athletes who actually do this stuff for a career and to realize that some of the greatest athletes to ever play the game may never have the chance to play for a championship, let alone win one. I was fortunate enough to have made the championship round once. At least I had that to hang my hat on as we wrapped up the end of the 2024-2025 season.

I felt that our team turned a bit of a corner in the final few games of our season. Our games were closer and we were finding ways to score more goals (always helpful in a game where the objective is to score more than the other team). As we entered the final game of the season, we were in a position where we could play our way into the 5th seed (second to last seed). This would give us a more favorable path. Additionally, there were players on the Phantoms who would be unable to make the first round playoff game if we finished as the 6th seed. Fortunately, I was able to put together the last shutout of my career and we finished as the 5th seed. We followed that up with a nice win in the first round. We then followed that up with a nice win in the second round, which required a late game winning goal in the third period. We suddenly found ourselves in the championship. In a weird twist, we were playing the team that we played in the 2013 championship.

When we started the championship round, I felt fairly calm. I had a lot of confidence in our ability to stay in a game. I did not feel the pressure of needing a shutout for us to have a chance to win. Our defense was doing a lot of things right and they were taking away high probability scoring chances. Our offense was able to sustain pressure and they were making nice, clean passes. I just felt good. After taking the first game, I felt like I might be able to get my storybook ending. I didn’t want to presume, but I strongly felt that we had a good chance as long as we kept playing at the level we had been at over the last month.

Before the start of the second game, I started to get very anxious. I felt those butterflies in my stomach. I forced myself to eat before the game, to drink plenty of water, to stretch, to listen to music, to relax. By the opening face off, I was comfortable. We fell down 0-2 in the first period. I took a few deep breaths. I put my faith in my team. I strongly felt that we were not out of the game. By the end of the first period, we were tied 2-2. In the third period, we found ourselves up 4-2. About halfway through the third, they were able to score and draw within one. With just over a minute left in the game, they pulled their goalie. One of my defensive players secured the puck, looked up, and made a perfect pass through center ice to a streaking offensive player who was able to calmly put it into the back of the net. We found ourselves up 5-3 with a minute left in the game. I steadied myself. I thought of my father. I hummed music to myself. I focused. The rest of that minute was a blur, a frenzy of passes and shots that we were able to turn away. As the final horn blew, the defensive players on the ice came back to hug me. I was ecstatic. Justin, who I’ve played with for my entire time on the Phantoms, was the first player back and we just yelled in jubilation. It was joy, pure joy.

I didn’t need to win. If we had lost, the sun would have come up the next day and life would have continued. I, however, wanted this win very badly. It felt like an impossible story, something that I’m sure everyone would want, the chance to go out on top (no matter how small that molehill actually is) and it just feels really good to have a win, no matter how big or small.

Went on a mountain biking ride for the global #CloseYourRings day at Calero County Park. It was a great way to be active today.

I recently went back and read Becoming Steve Jobs by journalists Brent Schlender and Rick Tetzeli. I really enjoyed the book. While reading it, I shared a few excerpts with friends. I decided to post those here as well.

The first excerpt comes from the period of time when Steve was in negotiations to buy what would become Pixar from George Lucas:

“At one point,” says Barnes, who helped with the negotiations, “the delays went on forever and he [Steve] just went and told one of their executives to ‘fuck off.’ One of the Lucas team said, ‘You can’t say that to one of our EVPs.’ ‘Yes I can,’ he replied. ‘And fuck you, too.’”

During the post hardware time at NeXT, the company pivoted to selling software, which included government information servers. This anecdote from Ed Catmull amused me:

One day, Ed Catmull read a NeXT press release about, he says, “how NeXT is really happy to be selling software to control government information servers, or data centers, or something mundane like that. I read this and thought, Oh, shoot, this has got to be killing Steve. So I called him up. We met at a Japanese restaurant in Palo Alto, and I said, ‘This isn’t you, Steve.’ And he went, ‘Ohhhhh, I know! I hate this so much. I mean, CIOs are nice guys, but God is this awful!’”

This anecdote is from when Neil Young tried to send a few remastered LPs to Steve to make amends. Neil had criticized the compression of tracks sold on the iTunes Music Store and talked about how it rendered the music unbearably “compromised“:

“Fuck Neil Young,“ he [Steve] snapped, “and fuck his records.“

Lastly, the book touches on a conversation between Steve and Andy Grove (a founder and former CEO of Intel) about whether or not he should accept the CEO position at Apple after Apple’s board decided to dismiss Gil Amelio. I cannot recall if the book includes this full anecdote, but I’ve always enjoyed it:

“I knew Apple was a mess [at the time], so I wondered: Do I want to give up this nice lifestyle that I have? What are all the Pixar shareholders going to think? I talked to people I respected. I finally called Andy Grove at about eight one Saturday morning — too early. I gave him the pros and the cons, and in the middle he stopped me and said, ‘Steve, I don’t give a shit about Apple.’ I was stunned. It was then that I realized that I do give a shit about Apple … That was when I decided to go back.”

Finished reading: Mickey7 by Edward Ashton 📚

Thoroughly enjoyed this. I wanted to read the book before I see the movie. I had only become aware of this book with the release of the movie, Mickey 17.

🎧 The RFK Jr. Problem | Revisionist History

There are many reasons to be disappointed, concerned, or scared about our current situation. The appointment of RFK Jr. as the Secretary of HHS is, in my opinion, one of the most potentially dangerous actions taken by the current administration.

Finished reading: Becoming Steve Jobs by Brent Schlender 📚

There were so many good anecdotes and quotes in this book. I am glad that I finally got around to reading this one and regret that it took me so long.